A long overdue update

I don't really know what happened. I just stopped writing in this space, although I was writing profusely in other places for other purposes. What happened? A lot of changes and happenings and not enough time/effort to reflect. Fear of actually putting my fingers to the keyboard, as some of the best realizations, and the hardest, sometimes come as my hands type out my thoughts and stories, in the process of writing and not before. I actually remember thinking of updating this blog and feeling that sensation of dread, of being overwhelmed, overcome my body, my shoulders clenching and my teeth grinding. Overwhelmed is the word. But not unhappy. Challenged. But here I am. Since March 4, life has been a maelstrom of threads all crossing, twisting and then spontaneously reordering.
A visit to New Orleans in mid-March for the Brazilian Studies Association meeting. Bourbon Street was like Disneyland for suppressed middle-class white housewives, who have zydeco bar musicians play washboards between their legs on the street while they scream and their children watch. Away from the French Quarter, the meeting was a great moment for me, in which I was encouraged and inspired to continue the lines of thought I have begun in my own intellectual work.
I crashed in mid-April in Boston when I gave a horrid talk at a session on alternative commodities and certifications at the AAG. That brought me back to Earth, and people's words to me reminded me that it doesn't really matter, in more than one way.
From there to Cuba and a really incredible week with Ian and Keith and our 32 undergraduate Geography students from Exeter on a fieldcourse. I loved, absolutely loved going through the process of shock, questioning assumptions, positionality, realizing that Cubans are people, lovely, not just denizens of a socialist country, with our students as they went through it. Think of 20 Cuban abuelas (grandmothers) teaching 32 22-year-old Brits how to be young. It was beautiful.
From Cuba back to England and the race to the finish. At least that is how it felt--finishing classes, writing and giving a seminar on my research project, applying for and then agonizing about a PhD position at Exeter. A couple of trips to Edinburgh to see fantastic Felicity, who made me sing two songs to a full bar. She was shameless and wonderful, and made me feel the same way. Thanks, Felicity...you have no idea what that meant!
Finally the sad/happy decision to turn it down and go back to Kansas. Kansas, my Kansas.
A week in Lawrence with Erin and Charlotte, basically spent staring at and entertaining baby Seimoah, who had me at his beck and call.
And now in Champaign, Illinois, studying Swahili in an intensive course for 8 weeks. A quiet town, a college town without the charm and culture of Lawrence. But I am occupying myself with Swahili, and have bought a guitar. After 3 weeks of practicing a half-hour a day, I can now play Ode to Joy on the first two strings. Huzzah!
All of these threads of life probably deserved more written reflection on this blog, or at least the people who enjoy reading my accounts deserved more. Will try to get back on this horse.
Love,
H.