On Culture (Stranger in a Strange Land...)

People said to me before I came to England, "Well, this should be easier than working in Brazil or Nicaragua, it's the same culture, and they speak the same language!". I would say they were correct only so far as the language. No. I totally disagree, actually. The English are about as far from Americans culturally as pygmies. Okay, okay, I am exagerating, but I'm trying to make a point here. I have compiled a list of differences, some more obvious than others:

1. First, let's hit the language myth on the head. We do not speak the same language. After four centuries of incubation on the American continent, we have developed a completely distinct one. Do I illustrate my point by telling you that I understood NO ONE my first three days here? I then slowly began to connect sounds to letters--a strange 'A' sound was actually a long 'O', etcetera. And the words for things--a 'jumper' is a 'sweater'. And the accents. You would think that television and movies and other globalizations of media would make the striking schism between our respective Englishes much smoother, but I am here to tell you that it backfired. What you will encounter among the young and hip here (and not just in London) is a strange accent, or rather, intonation of words. It is like an American Valley Girl accent superimposed on an upper-middle-class Posh Londoner accent, with strange, drawn out, whiny monosyllables at the end of every sentence or question.

2. Parsnips. Buttered parsnips. Honeyed parsnips. In the U.S. parsnips are a mythical vegetable, something you read about in required Victorian Literature classes in college. Here, they are a way of life. They are everywhere. (And they are yummy.)

3. Communication. Body language. To say it simply, Americans express everything, either verbally, or nonverbally by acting out. The English simply put on a stone face (oh, wait, they always have on a stone face...), and wait for you to figure out that you have done something inappropriate or displeasing. So, being an American, it takes me a while to figure it out.

4. Meeting people. While I was in London, Felicity and I conducted many experiments in many a pub over many a night, in which we would try to make eye contact with attractive men (attractive to us). The responses were interesting: About a third looked directly away to the side (we call that the "Right-glance"), a third looked straight up (the "Up-glance"), and the other third looked up, then to the side, and then to an unidentified point in front of them (the "Triangle"). Needless to say, our success rate at actually meeting people was 0%, since none of them would look at us. That is, if you don't count the outlyers, who were two elderly and drunk men named Graham and Mike, but they don't count. They were so drunk they started performing the experiment as well! We also repeated the experiment every time we had to walk across London Bridge. Same results except that more than half did the "Triangle" (probably because if they looked to the side, they would have to look at someone else crossing the bridge!).

But don't get the impression that I am not enjoying myself or meeting interesting people here. I am. And I am.

Cheers!